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15 Things You’ll Find in Every Hipster Pub

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15 Things You’ll Find in Every Hipster Pub

hipster

It ain’t hipster if it ain’t quirky.

Here’s a list of things to look out for if you want to double-check you’re in a genuinely hipster joint.

1- It’s guaranteed to have a wacky chalk board notice outside

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It’ll usually be some amazing fact about how beer or cake can cure your ills.

2- Music playing in the background by someone you’ve never heard of.

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Most likely, your hipster bar owner won’t know them either. Even so, it’s worth going up to them and saying “This is one of my all-time favourite songs”, just to see the expression on their face.

3- A building that was once for a public service

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It could be anything. A police station, a school…or…anything…

4- The unusual, creepy decor

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Basically, anything they can find from a Salvation Army jumble sale. Ramdom items from a stuffed dog wearing a balaclava to a picture of an ostrich riding a bike. Everything you’d expect, basically.

5- Books that no-one has ever or will ever read

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Books upon books. You probably saw a similar array in your grannie’s drawing room at one point. Most likely as she subscribed to a Reader’s Digest offer that just kept on sending those books with no chance of canceling.

6- Actual church pew seats

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They’re not the most comfortable so no-one will be relaxing all day within the premises. Maybe not the best business idea?

7- A sofa that even you get stuck down the side of

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I suspect they get them specially made.

8- The dark, dark toilets

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Toilets will be decorated in the usual “student flat” design.

9- More beers on tap than probably even exist

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And you won’t have heard of a single one. Just order a babycham and save yourself a lot of time.

10- Beers with great names!

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Okay, it’s not all bad. It’s worth having a browse just to check the names on some of those. Though it’s worth noting that they’re all “wannabe-cocktail-names”.

11- Big, Big beer glasses

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Cos it’s cool yeah? But are hipsters wanting to be cool? Just have another drink. It won’t matter in an hour or two anyhow.

12- A confusing cocktail menu

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What is half this stuff? Are they making it up as they go along? Who care’s? It really hits the spot. I’ll have another.

13- A pub dog

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There’s always a pub dog. This one will probably be a bearded collie.

14- Twists on your usual pub food

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Replace ‘Chicken and Chips’ with ‘Dodo and Spanish Corn Bean Frites’ or some other posh/pretentious nik-naks.

15- Board Games

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No hipster joint would be complete without it’s snakes and ladders.

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